hey hopeless, I know how you feel, and i'm so sorry that you feel that way. I'm a recovering SIer, and I did it for countless years - I got so addicted, I wound up doing it several times a day just to be able to function. I was so lonely, and so depressed, and so blocked off from the world. Although I haven't SIed in nearly six months, the urges are still there, and I still have terrible triggers that make me want to relapse. I still feel lonely and helpless sometimes, but things definitely do get better. I noticed that you'll definitely kill yourself, and nobody cares - but I care! It breaks my heart that you feel this way, and there's so many things that I want to tell you, that we can talk about, and I would love to get to know you, and help take your pain away. I care about you, so please just try to hang in there, okay? feel free to pm me if you want to talk, or to ramble about random things just know that things DO get better