I'm an alcoholic who had almost 22 years of sobriety in before I had a slip in late September. (It wasn't booze this time, it was pills, but the motive and the results were the same.)

I realize now that I was masking symptoms of both depression and mania with the alcohol. The trouble was, my problems were always there to greet me the next day.....drinking didn't make them go away.

I feel for you, I really do.