Hello Houdini and welcome to Psych Central. I am very sorry to hear that you lost your children. I am sure you are very sad and distraught, but there is help for you. There are many professional therapists that deal with issues such as yours and you can get help from therapy and medication as well. I am very sorry that you are lonely enough to want to die, but there is help and support groups like NAMI and DBSA that can help you feel better and less alone. There is a chat here today at 2:30 with Dr Wylie and I hope you join us there today and meet some of the people here at PC.
There is a hotline number you may call as well if you are not feeling well 1-800-273-TALK. You are welcome to PM me anytime if you would like to talk and there are chats here almost everyday where you can talk to someone in person. I generally am in chat on monday-Friday at different times with other regular members and if you go to the chat room someone will generally come to talk to you. This is a very caring group at PC, and very honest group we all care what happens to others here and we all try to listen to each others problems, and give honest feedback. You are not alone and you dont have to feel alone if you need to talk to someone call the hotline or go to the chat room here and talk to someone that cares for your wellbeing. Today is a good day to meet others at Pc and Dr Wylie is very humorous as well. WE really have a good time here and I hope you will feel better in time being part of the group here. Hope to see you in chat today at 2:30 PM. Take Care and PM anytime Soidhonia