Thank you falsememory I will take you up on that when I have some energy.

So today I'm exhausted. Spent just about the entire day cooking & cleaning mostly. I'm wiped out. Only way I could do this was to be a bad mom & plop my 3 yr old in front of a screen. I'm still trying to get more done before he gets home.
He did text me today & said "YOU need to make better & healthier choices." I told him that once again I'm alone in this. I'd like to share it w/him but can't bec he doesn't understand. I told him to google 'why people self injure'. Thinking maybe this would she'd some light for him & it wouldn't be coming from me. They all say basically the same thing.
I didn't hear back from him.
The urge to SI is strong but the shame is stronger & the feeling of how trapped I am.

I called my T today 6 hrs ago & told her a lot of my triggers were lining up & my SU were ramping up.
Yup 6 hrs ago!