Had T today. Told her that I had had a bad 2 days this week...lots of anger...afraid to come to therapy anymore and afraid that if I did come I would smash the room up and throw her away...and I told her I was pissed that she had said on monday that my anger was about her and had said it with a kinda of smug smile...she said that was the catylists for the anger I was already feeling toward her...and that the room and she could indeed contain my anger...and that I had actually survived and contained this anger by myself this week...with this a tear dropped and she asked if i was upset? I said no I think its relieve...relieve that I have felt these feelings and come out the other side..I was so stuck in them that I couldn't see that I was feeling them and getting through them...she asked if I knew what the anger was about? ...I replied I guess its still connected to the break...I couldnt feel angry to you while on the break incase you didn't come back..but now your back the anger is there...she said that once upon I time I would have denied feeling angry about the break and just said I was fine and wanted to quit...so I am getting stronger because I am "allowing" myself to feel these feelings now...I love it when she uses the word "allow" it gives me a sense of my own involvement in my recovery!!...she said that I do have faith in our relationship and that she is strong enought to survive my anger...I said maybe if I had told you on Monday that your ssmug smile had pissed me off we could have got through it quicker?..she said maybe I didnt have the words on Monday?...I said I think I did but was afraid to tell you that you had pissed me off....she said its fine to tell her that...she said do I still feel angry as I am still quite "motorised"...i said I'm not sure...maybe...but I don't feel so afraid of my anger now...lots more was said but I feel this was a good productive session...I did say if she wanted to continue with her building works she was having done at home (where we work from) and build me a little room to move into we wouldnt have these problems LOL!..she said we would!..dam had to put a damper on it LOL..