I often wonder the same thing. The only two people that see the true me, are my two therapists. Otherwise, I hide behind my smile 24/7 when I'm around everyone else. I've done it for so many years, that it's whole other side of me. So if I'm able to do that (and somedays it is an incredible struggle to do so), then how can it not feel as if my depression is fake? But when I'm alone or late at night, my depression and hopelessness is at its worst. Pretending to be ok, is exhausting. I know I'm not making it up.