This time of year I feel extremely sad and alone. Two years ago, I spent Christmas in a state mental hospital and the memories of that experience come back at this time of year and are overwhelming. What's worse is no one in my family understands what its like for me at this time of year and seem confused over why I'm not looking forward to family get togethers over the holidays. They think that since I'm surrounded by happy family members, I should be excited to celebrate the holidays. Then I get even more depressed because I realize how alone I am with my feelings and feel like such a horrible person for not being able to put these feelings aside.

How do I feel happy about the holidays?