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I love my best friend. She is the nicest, smartest, most loving and beautiful and funny and blah blah blah girl in the world.... but lately she has been disrespecting me a LOT.
She is like any other human and goes through bad days or weeks, but she also can treat me bad regardless of whether or not she is going through these rough periods. I used to be a massive jerk who was rude to everybody, and her as well. I am very glad I have changed that and have started treating people much nicer and more thoughtfully, but I feel like she doesn't recognize this in me. It has been a major struggle to treat people better, and while I still lie and admittedly manipulate people sometimes, I try my hardest to respect them and their choices, to stand up for others, and to treat them kindly. But whenever she is disrespecting me, she spews out this long rant about all of my flaws I have worked so hard to overcome. I'm so ridiculous, I'm so disrespectful, I'm so high maintenance, I don't recognize or thank others, I'm too entitled, too moody, I change my mind too much, I am lazy, too angry, I don't consider her feelings... but where on earth in this is she considering mine, and all the hard work I have done to better myself?
I don't really talk about my issues with anybody. The reason I am here is personal, and she does respect that boundary. She knows I am "crazy" as we say, because I joke about it often to cope. She joins in too, and it really does make me feel better, more like a person. But she really doesn't know about how deep all these things go and how hard they make everyday life. And then when I try to bring up how I feel she is treating me... the vicious cycle starts again. And it all comes back to me. She is ALWAYS treating me badly in "self defense", no matter how many times she has said something rude and hurtful out of nowhere or as a response to me being kind or helpful.
I really do love her and I am not just going to abandon her, she is my best friend. But these relationship issues are really wearing me down mentally. We consider our relationship to be extremely important and a best friend break up isn't an option. I feel like this is a normal thing friends go through, but seeing as I am, well, HERE, the problem is a bit more complicated. Any advice?
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"I'm Batman" - Batman
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