YES! I get into those 'ruts' especially when nothing seems to be going right and for much I take the responsibility and guilt for. Even if it is other things/people it makes me somehow feel anxiously uncomfortable being me who catches all of the disgusting vibes for it. I usually experience the self-harm when I'm very angry over something, even minute things AGAIN and I get so damn fed up with myself I bang my head and so on . . . . . It is simply that release that feels like a fix, and in the end I feel even more stupid. It certainly isn't the answer.