Thank you for being there. I appreciate it very much. So much went on yesterday and I feel like I'm no longer hypomanic. So what's triggering me to focus on that one net ant several hours later is something I don't know or understand. She is a therp in group that I go to. Really like and respect her. She is very wonderful. I had her for my first group, and I coughed some. Probably a little more than I should have without walking out. There are many reasons for me being sensitive about coughing, and ignoring when I do. I am extremely sensitive when someone complains. And this therp, who is always nice to me, turned to me, a little annoyed and all she said was "X, you have water." Which I hadn't even thought about. She probably forgot about it 5 minutes after it happened. And I didn't really think a lot of it at the moment except I was embarrassed that I had forgotten to do something and had disturbed the group enough to upset her. I didn't even think it had bothered me much until last night when I began ruminating about it. Was it because of that? Or something else that had happened yesterday (there was lots), I don't know. But I felt like SI'ing for the first time in a while. I called and left a message for my outside therp at 3:30am this morning to see about seeing her earlier in the week for an extra appointment. My goal is to journal about everything that happened yesterday and try to keep busy so the impulse to SI doesn't sneak up on me again.

Sorry, I know I'm long winded. It helps to know I'm not alone. Take care