I dont know as much specifically about schizoaffective disorder but I have a really good friend with it. He's doing well with modern meds. Definitely something to look up.

I mentioned last night that you sounded like when I have a mixed mood, its not as much sad sometimes, though that creeps in occasionally, and I do cry, but I curse too, but its a lot of massive anxiety and just wanting things to stop. I havent had self harm thoughts too often but usually it isnt that I want me to stop, I want to stop the feelings or thoughts, make those go away. I always tell on myself and you've done good too, you've told on yourself to us. But just cause I mention it doesnt mean its so unless it sounds like it kind of fits. A call in to your pdoc might get you a med adjustment without you using your lsst visit, it might be worth a try Monday.