Thread: Disgusting
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Old Nov 16, 2013, 04:34 PM
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technigal technigal is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,625
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam View Post
One of the hardest things for me to deal with in my BPD is the extreme amount of self-hatred I feel for myself. I literally am disgusted by everything I say or do. Does anyone else have this issue? I want to harm myself so badly.
I broke down on Tuesday (DH had to miss his night job) because I hate myself so much. I hate my body, I hate my brain and the way it makes me feel, I hate being an emotional basket case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam View Post
I have an extreme problem with money. I used to ve so frivolous with it that I am getting ready to file bankruptcy (embarrassing but oh well). That impulse driven spending is what gets me- and that's directly related to BPD too.
Don't be embarrassed. The reason for our credit proposal is we continued to use credit even when I was not well enough to continue to live the way we could when we were making lots of money. I had a bankruptcy 14 years ago. I swore I would never get to that point again. What we are doing is pay to a third party at a much lower interest rate and one payment instead of 6 different payments. The companies get their money and we take a credit hit for about 7 years. I am fine with the credit hit but I am a little concerned when it is time to renew our mortgage...
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Mags

Depression diagnosed March 1996
PTSD diagnosed January 2000
BPD diagnosed September 2013