No, none of the feelings associated with grief are desireable, imo. And, in actuality, no one can help us with the actual feeling of them...though others can help us get through them... which is where you have to go...through, imo.

You will grieve. Sooner or later. If you are now realizing that your anger might be part of that process, then you are moving through it...the process.

There are many reasons to be angry...loss is hard...and it causes us to wish things to be different, thus some anger (at ourselves, at the other, others.)

Sometimes numbing is a response to loss...in place of grieving, perhaps putting the grieving process off for awhile?