This thread is massive and I've been following it for a while now. It doesn't really seem to be helping you - you appear to be escalating. Would it maybe help you more to stop focussing on this thread and your symptoms and just distract yourself or just "be"? I'm not meaning to be offensive but sometimes when we concentrate on our symptoms so much they get so much worse and consume us. You've even been on here while out with friends. Again I'm not trying to offend - just maybe this isn't really helping you? If I'm wrong I'm sorry, just wanted to say something. I hope you start to feel better soon. Oh also instead of atvian as a PRN do you have anti psychotics? I find they help a lot