Thanks everyone. I've been very depressed and haven't been thinking straight. I might hang around (I have trusted friends here and don't want to lose touch ) but will keep a very low profile and probably won't start threads ( I have spent a lot of time here in the four years I have been here and need to concentrate more on other issues, in particular therapy and Mr Bear and other friends IRL, some of whom I have been neglecting (hiding from)...Sorry about changing my mind..... If I decide to leave again I will just PM people....I've been very triggered (lots of stuff going on IRL) and need to work closely with my new therapist. So I will be quiet for a while......No replies needed but as always, PMs are welcome....