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Originally Posted by Tremor
I have been trying to find out more about DID, but it is hard for me to focus and comprehend what I am reading. It's all so confusing. I'm not dumb, but I need to learn about DID in a more simple format. Does anyone know of any good books that are very easy to understand?
I only know that I have DID because of my daughter. I had been sleepwalking for 8 years now, but finally realized from looking on the internet last year that I have DID and not sleepwalking = my alters come out when I sleep. I told my doctor and he confirmed that I do have DID.
I only know my alters from what my daughter has told me...other than that, I don't have any memory. I have one alter that is called "dumb personality" by my other alters that does appear when I'm awake. I never knew it was an alter before...I just thought those times were just crazier times in my life. I remember everything I do, but I do some risky things that are pretty dumb.
A few months ago, my daughter told me another alter appeared while I was awake, but I have no memory of it. That alter, named "AuntieMay", comes out a lot when I'm asleep. For this time that she came out though while I was awake, I had an argument with my landlord. The argument got heated, but I guess it got a lot more heated than I realized. My daughter said it was bad. One moment I was myself and then I was her and then minutes later I was back to myself. I guess I switched mid-sentence and was talking about two different things. "AuntieMay" is my most extreme alter and cannot be mistaken for me...although my daughter says during the night she tries to act like me, but she usually gives herself away by saying something I wouldn't say like "mudfish". "AuntieMay" is a big black woman who comes up with crazy stories, loves to eat, and is so stereotypical. I am actually a white woman!!!!! From what I can tell, part of me wishes I could be a strong woman (strong women I identify as being black). As a child, I didn't have friends and didn't have a good family, so Mrs. Butterworth and Aunt Jemima pancake syrups kind of became my "friends". "AuntieMay" seems to be a combination of the pancake syrup women, my middle name is May, and the family member I looked up to most was my aunt Susan.
Anyway, my memory and focus is getting increasingly worse, so I need simple explanations. Every day, at least once a day, my daughter tells me something I said or did, some movie we watched, some person, some event, etc that I have no memory of.
I really feel like I am losing myself, so any help would be greatly appreciated!!
Oh, and do most people with DID have alters who are their inner children who seem "stuck" at certain ages?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tremor
do most people with DID have alters who are their inner children who seem "stuck" at certain ages?
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I dont know about where you are but here in NY there is a difference between ..inner children....and ...alters...
here inner children is more a feeling, not an alter..
example sometimes when I get overwhelmed with too much going on I....feel ....like I did when I was a 10 year old child lost in the mine shafts. cognitively I know Im not 10 years old feeling lost and alone but mentally I feel that way. this my therapist calls an inner child.
when I wasnt integrated my alters on the other hand were taking over control of the body when ever there was something that I could not handle on my own. they would take care of those things I could not do for myself. All of my alters had their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being, own way of being ...they each had their own ages, toys, likes,...you name it they had their own way of being. this is what my treatment providers called my alternate personalities.
the best place to start with learning about DID is from your own treatment providers (your medical doctor, your psychiatrist, your therapist) they can give you information based on what your own comprehension rate/levels are..
for information not based on your comprehension rate/level well at the top of many of the forums boards you will find a thread marked ...resources.... thats where everyone posts things like for instance books they have found helpful on many different problems/mental disorders/symptoms.
amazon.com also has some great reading materials about mental disorders. some of which you can click on the book icon and read an excerpt from the book to see if thats what you are looking for. sometimes if I dont have the money to purchase the book on amazon right then when I need it I write the book information down and take the information to the city library. they locate a copy of the book for me. this way I get to read the book and decide if its worth the money to purchase it.