I think when things are that heavy, distractions to take your mind off those memories may help. I do know it sucks. I used to play a lot of patience with cards, or scrabble on my own just to try and give the brain a break. Hugs
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein