I took some folks advice here and got back into adult films, and I must say it took care of the problem of me constantly having "wood" all day long, which I am tired of moaning about in this forum.

At the same time, I am not proud of having to use that method for relief.. and makes me still desirous for a partner. last night I tried this thing you girls call "me time" and I hated it.. I watched a nice comedy but I really wanted a girl cuddled up next to me and watching together!

Good job, you have joined the rest of the world. You had an erection, you dealt with it. Now you will get to do that again and again until you happen to be in a relationship with a willing participant. Very few people prefer to be single to being in a relationship. Join the club.

Also, being in my 30s I like the idea of a partner, not an adult film... for practical reasons like sharing rent. Coming home to her and not to a cold empty house or roommates. Or if not sharing a lease, at least having her over often. Cook together, cuddle, massage, etc.

So... I am gonna try Online Dating again since many girls here have said they do not like being approached Offline in public because of safety reasons and a creep factor they have built in their heads somehow. But here are many questions about what I have encountered now and in the past online, and my thought process in BOLD:

1) why do you girls put as your top things you cannot do without to be Friends, Iphone, Family...
WHERE AM I IN THIS PICTURE?? AT BACK OF THE LINE?
Yes, you are at the back of line. Why would a stranger come before someone that someone has known for years and years? You have to work your way up that line.

2) why so much emphasis on the fact that you are "work hard, play hard", "highly educated and driven", and "have a crazy work week"?
DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TIME FOR A GUY?? WHY SHOULD I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THOSE THINGS... I AM EDUCATED TOO BUT NOT CONSUMED BY THOSE THINGS!
That's because you are consumed with your obsession with sex and your feelings of entitlement.... Women are letting you know that they have lives, they are trying to be polite and go "I'm not available every single day" and they are demonstrating that they are highly educated and driven because clearly those are something they want to have in common with someone.

3) why do you not mention what you would do for your man, and for the overall larger relationship... to build and nurture it?
WHY SHOULD I BE MOTIVATED THEN TO CONTACT YOU?
You should be interested in what you have learned about them. Sorry, but unless you're joining a sex-site, no one is going to say what they will do with you and when. No one can predict the future. If you aren't interested in them - then don't contact them! Simple!

4) when emailing each other, why are so many girls either "out of town", "have a crazy week this week", or seem to work 2 jobs and school?
SHOULD I NOT COUNT ON YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME AND FOR US VERY OFTEN?? ARE YOU ANOTHER LITTLE PRINCESS IN HER OWN WORLD?? WHY IS EVERY WEEK SO DARN "CRAZY"??? MINE ARENT!
Perhaps because.... they are out of town or have a busy week! "Another little princess in her own world" is utterly sexist btw. If your week isn't busy then good for you - but you do seem to spend 24/7 on the hunt for sex, so that is busy in a way.... and if you aren't every busy - then do something else with your life. And perhaps they are working all of those jobs because they are trying to get promoted, or, oh, because the job market is crap and they probably aren't doing what they're qualified for or can't quite make ends meet.


5) why do they say "just seeing whats out there. I prefer friends first and see where it goes. If you want a hookup, then keep moving."
IS THIS FACEBOOK OR A DATING SITE?? OF COURSE I WANT TO HOOKUP, BUT WITH YOU NOT WITH EVERY GIRL ON HERE... HENCE WHY I WROTE TO YOU AND NOT TO ANYONE ELSE!! YOU SHOULD FIND IT CUTE, NOT ANNOYING.
This is them letting you know that your sense of entitlement won't be tolerated. They're saying very clearly "I'm not having sex with you right away and if you think that is what will be happening then get lost." and they are saying "I'm not having sex with someone that I do not know and have emotions towards." And HOW are they to know that you only emailed them? That's riduculous. And it is NOT up to you to determine how someone else interprets your actions and words. If someone finds you annoying, then they find you annoying. And they ARE AWARE of the fact that it's a dating site - but they don't want to be used and are being clear about their intentions.

6) why do they post shots with them and another guy.. sometimes a gay bestie or just a guy friend?
THIS IS SOOOOO UNATTRACTIVE. AS A MALE CAT.. I DONT LIKE OTHER MALE CATS IN MY TERRITORY THAT I AM SCOPING OUT. THAT IS THAT.

That's your problem, not theirs. Get over yourself and your jealousy. See how putting up that picture of them with another guy can quickly turn away the selfish ones? You have ZERO control over what she does with her time or her life and you are NOT entitled to having her cater to your desires.

7) why do we have great connection by email, text, and phone.. and much in common.. and find each other cute.. but in person 8 out of 10 times they end up "not feeling a connection, sorry."
THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY. YOU PUT IN ALL THAT EFFORT AND THINK IT IS GOING GREAT AND THEN THEIR STUPID GUT "FEELING" TAKES OVER. GRRRR

That would most likely be because you play games and try to say what you think will get you into their pants the quickest. Then they meet you, and see through all the fakeness. And how is emailing back and forth and that really taking up THAT much effort? If that's too much effort for you... that's your problem again. That's how relationships work. They don't always work out.

8) how do I really compete when they are getting 100s of emails?
Be a decent person. For all they know, you're getting 100s of emails too.

9) after our "date",, they will go home and check their inbox and rinse/repeat again usually... how do I truly nail them down and keep their attention?
Be a decent person. If they don't feel a connection with you, then you can't change that. Over and done. Move on to the next person.

10) finally... why do they write a friggin NOVEL in their profile.. dude, just tell me the key points that let me get to know you!! And write it targeted to your audience.. a SINGLE GUY! Stop writing it like you are on a job interview or trying to impress other girls. Who do you think your audience is? Be playful and flirty... because you have competition too and do not think you are "special" and there is no other girl out there.
Because they are not a piece of meat and they are not a sex slave, and they want to make sure that they guys they do meet with actually KNOW something about them. This way, it makes that whole process quicker and both parties can tell if they are interested or not. The more you know from the beginning, the less time you will waste on each other if there is no connection. And don't tell women how to act - that is not your place. Not all women are playful and flirty, and they don't all want to act like they're stupid or robots.

If you aren't interested in them - then MOVE ON. There will be many others out there who actually will be interested in her, and the point is to find one who does consider you special. Women aren't robots - we're not programmable like you seem to think. They aren't going to cater to your whims because they want to meet someone who they will be compatable with naturally.

I feel like thank god for adult films... the above process is a CHORE!!!!!