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Old Nov 17, 2013, 11:21 AM
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Bloem Bloem is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: In the world
Posts: 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by reesecups View Post
Interesting. When I began group last March, I had to experience having a male group leader. Made me uncomfortable at first, especially since his name is John like my father and they dressed similarly, and I DEFINITELY have daddy issues. I actually began thinking he was pretty good. I like the guy now and usually enjoy his groups. The last time I was hypo I embarrassingly divulged this stuff in group. I'm still embarrassed about it. I hope he didn't think I meant romantically I like him. I just said something along the lines of why I had first been intimidated and that he wax a pretty nice guy. And it wasn't just a statement, but I was gushing. Still kind of embarrassed about that.
I have man issues but never had problems when i was in a group with more people. But what I noticed after this experience with a male T (it was for six weeks, i saw him individually twice a week and he also did some groups) That my fears are less then first, in situations where i am alone with a man. I noticed that recently I walked during daytime in my street and a man walked past me and he was greeting me. I said 'hello' back and looked at him. Normally I would look at the ground, because there were also no other people. And in more situations, things changed. So it was a good experience for me. Still, my preference is for a female therapist.

I know that embarresed feeling. I can be very impulsive, say what I think. One day my T looked very good. I said something like 'wow you look good, you are a beautiful woman' When I realized what I had said I felt ashamed and I was worried that she would think I meant it in a romantic way.

We talked about transference and she even asked me if I was in love with her. Because i was struggling with feelings for her. I told her then, if I was in love with her she would have noticed that, because i would have made a move! hahaha

The feelings that I found difficult were more maternal feelings, I began to see her as a mother.

Bloem
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I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela