Quote:
Originally Posted by onlymedid
So i did SI this morning and i don't know why. There seemed to be no reason for it, then my husband asked if one of my alters could have done it. I remember doing it, but I was not in control of how badly i did it. It was the worst I've ever done and even needed stitches. It scares me because i am having the urge again!!! I don't want to do it again, but i'm terrified that one of my alters will and i won't be able to stop it! Can anyone make a suggestion or thought?
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Since you remember doing SI (just not how badly you did it), do you remember what you were thinking or feeling at the time?
I used to do SI until I broke myself from doing it once I got pregnant. I had a few relapses the first year of stopping, but it wasn't bad. About 8 years after I stopped SI, I started cutting my hair. Eventually it got to be as often as I used to do SI. I've been wearing wigs for years.
I've got it to calm down a little, but a lot of stress makes me want to cut my hair again. I feel overwhelmed with no hope or options and I feel very low self-esteem at that point. I go to the bathroom to just do a few snips to make my hair look better (to supposedly make myself feel better) and then I end up dissociating to the point where I have cut off a lot of hair. For some reason when I dissociate I think of movies when I'm cutting, but once I come out of being dissociated I think of what I remember about what I was thinking about the movie and it usually provides at least some detail to what exactly is bothering me the most.