I can't find a balance in life. I know I have a lot of growing up to do, but I felt better every time i went off my meds. My feelings, imagination, and creativity all returned.

However, I sometimes feel like I'm going to have to re-up the dose of my antipsychotics, and I'm going to have to live a numbed out life.

I'm doing miserably in grad school and may fail out/have to drop out.

I feel like such an evil person for the things I've done in life and the intrusive thoughts I get from time to time.

I think I need to work on being honest.


I can't find a balance in life, I wish I could just go off my meds and hear some music for goodness sake. I'll always think there's something special about creative music.