what you describe is EXACTLY why I don't think I have bipolar. My mood can change from minute to minute sometimes - just the other night my boyfriend had a 'left over' smile on his face from a few seconds ago but I was already on to the next feeling and got mad at him for not taking me seriously...

Also, like you say, it's always related to something that's going on - usually a little gesture or word or name that reminds of something. I've never been in the same mood for even an entire day I think - they just get rounded up or down to good/bad days. I was put on depakote when I was 15 but stopped almost right away. The reason I joined the forum is because I was recently given abilify, but I just know that bipolar isn't the issue, which isn't to say i'm sure it's BPD either, but I don't feel comfortable with experimenting on my brain with the wrong medication...

I have been going to therapy for anxiety/OCD stuff and I definitely feel like it has helped with certain things, but there is still this general sense of chaos lurking just beneath the surface, together with the feeling of not really knowing who I am/feeling unreal at times.

I would like to talk to you more in a chat, how does that happen?