I've felt so much worse today…I'm having trouble just pretending I'm ok. I don't know if it's the circumstances of the past week or because I just raised my medication again. I can't go to the doctor because she'll just say that I haven't been on that dosage long enough to stop. I went from not self-harming at all to self-harming or really wanting to all the time. And tonight will be a week from the last time I've heard from the guy who I guess just pretended to like me. I just don't get it. What does he gain from this? Did he like me UNTIL we spent time together and if so, why did he answer my first text and then none of the others?

I just want to know what's wrong with me so I can FIX it.