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Originally Posted by Tremor
Innocentjoy, that makes a lot of sense to me! What I don't understand about my alters is that they seem so sectioned off from my life as a host overall that they don't know everything that I have been through...which seems good for them, but not good for me. My alters seem smarter than me, because although they have experienced trauma, they have not experienced all the trauma that I (the host) have experienced. From this, they seem a lot more sane than I am and smarter than me.
I'm not sure how to communicate with my alters when although they are all parts of me, they are not aware of much beyond what they know. They just see me as a dumb adult version of them who keeps ruining their lives.
They have trouble understanding me. I can understand for the most part where they are coming from...I only have trouble remembering what it was like to have some of their good traits.
Ugh, I don't even know if this makes sense to anyone else. Does it at all??
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My experience with my alters is that they had certain aspects of them that needed to be recognized. Whether they need reassurance, respect, understanding, or acknowledgement, there are parts of them that are very important to them, and to my system as a whole tha have needed to be realized by me. Not much productive communication could take place until they trusted me, and the trust only came when I understood them on their own levels, and genuinely understood why I had needed them in the first place.
It sounds like they could be helped by you orienting them to the present. However, it is very important to listen to them, their concerns, etc as well. One thing my T has taught me is that when one of the parts is frustrated or upset, instead of reacting, it helps for me to ask them why they feel that way, what is behind it. Usually this helps anyone to feel heard, when you try to see things from their point of view before responding or reacting. It helps with alters as well, in my experience. Not sure if that helps you, your system could be completely different than mine. But isn't that human nature to begin with? That wish to be heard, understood and validated?