Ryan, I wish I could tell you how to comfort your host, but since I am a host and my others feel aggravated with me a lot of the time because of my choices, it makes it hard. All I can tell you is what I wish I could tell my others and what I wish they would understand about me.
I wish my others knew I wasn't out to hurt them or myself. I wish they knew I try very hard to do the best I can, but most of the time I feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do to feel better. I wish they knew I want to help them too, but I don't know how to help them since it is so hard to help even myself.
I wish my others weren't so upset with me. I wish they could feel what I feel, so maybe they could understand me better. I know they get upset at me for some of the choices I make, but I feel if they weren't so upset with me and tried to support me, I might not make such bad choices.
I want to be friends with my others, but I want them to be friends with me too. My others don't have a support system, but neither do I. I wish we could work together and work to help each other.
Ryan, do you think you can forgive your host for her choices that hurt both of you? Do you think you can support her and still love her even though she has hurt you (without meaning too)?
If your host is anything like me, I respond best to kindness. When someone gets on my case, tells me I'm not trying, tells me I'm being stupid, etc, I feel worthless and then I feel angry and rebellious. When someone isn't treating me kindly, I tend to make worst decisions.
I'm not saying you are treating your host in a mean way. I'm just saying your host probably needs you to be her friend and to try to forgive her and to understand her.