I have never notice outside stigma of bipolar really. I do not advertize my illness but I also have cerebral palsy so I most likely don't recognize stigma. There's a lot of time that my in-laws got mad that someone talked to me “slow” because physical disability automatically have intellectual disabilities to the public. My response usually is to laugh because I thought they were “slow”.

My husband does get dirty looks because him loving me is automatically because he's taking advantage of me. This was the concern of everyone on both sides of the family. My family still says he can't love me and he's just taking advantage of me. This was especially true when I was pregnant. I had to change my ob/gyn because of this. It's automatically assumed that we only have one child because of my disability. I've seen several people “play up” their disability or have a defeatist attitude.

Unfortunately I was able to hid my mental illnesses behind this. I couldn't possibly be failing because I was doing to many drug and drinking. It was because I just couldn't do the work, even though my IQ is high. I wasn't anorexic my lack of appetite and under weight was because of CP. There was no way I could possibly be violent, doing drugs and sleeping around, even after pulling a knife on my parents because of CP. Even my accidental overdose was just me not understanding, to be fair I wasn't because of mania but I certainly didn't need a psych eval. I couldn't have PPP I was just overwhelmed by caring for my son because it was more difficult for me. Even after telling the Dr. that I lock myself in the bathroom when I'm alone because I have constant visions of killing my son. No one sat down ever got to know me and asked what was going on. The people that got to know have saved my life several times. It took several dr to look past my disability and see (hypo) mania even get Dx'd and I needed to force my therapist to realize my issues were less to do with CP and more to do BP.

I cried and cried and cried when I got my dx. Why? Because it meant entering the mental health system, meds, therapy and facing the increased possibility of hospitalization, something I have a complete fear of. I do not feel streamlining, and simplifying my life or editing my goals and time line as having made me “live up” to the stigma. As much as learning how to place your own accommodations into your life. Do I feel I will ever be able to work, not really but it's the same as knowing I can't learn ride a two wheeled bike. Both of those things I have bashed my head against for years attempting to figure out how to accommodate for myself and accomplish them. Both activities have almost landed me in the hospital several times. I have choose to put that stuff aside and focus on my family because I'm not useful if I'm in the hospital. I advocate anyone BP or not to simplify and streamline their life

Do I ever feel I'll be stable? Nope, just as much as I believe they'll cure CP. I can and do accommodate for both, I have to, no one else knows how to. I feel the BP is me amped up, so I'm never scared of 'another episode'. Am I ever scared of my husband 'episodes'? Hell no, he may be 1'2” taller and 3x my size but when 'manic' he's treated like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum. A five year old, can't ever intimidate me and I can out think a 5 yr old any day. You just isolate them and keep them safe until it passes. I'm told to leave things up to the professionals. Meaning stop messing with your meds, be completely honest during the problem, and call when you need to. Problem is my tolerance for issues are much higher than others and my confidence for others to come up with real solutions are quite low. What I am scared of is not teaching my son how to accommodate life for himself no matter his issues. But this comes from a person that “doesn't recognize episodes, stress or psychosis even after episode”

I don't feel knowing your limits and slowly kicking them further and further back is self deprecating or stigmatizing yourself as long as your still trying. Yes there are going to be times that you want to give up and be self defeating but if you always just surviving then why?