Since we are all different it's hard to explain or relate to some one else unless we experience the same thing. For me it's constant doubting because I can get stuck in what your in right now for a year and totally forget all the other 40 years. And begin to doubt every thing. I can also be stuck in a pretty much normal state or close enough to that for about a year and doubt there was every any thing wrong with me and forget the details from previous years. Then there is the times I get the rude awakening and reminder of what's going on. To say this is frustrating is a understatement! I've been off meds once for about 6 years! I thought I was cured or there was never any thing wrong with me! I thought as I get older things would mellow out, they have a little but not significantly. At 58 I some times just feel like giving up, what's the point? It never ends. Once again I forget all the good times! It is worth it my friend. However you feel right now will not last! It will eventually pass and perhaps you will even doubt there was any thing wrong at all.

As others have said, meds are not a cure, and some times they work and some times they don't work as well. Try to remember the good times you had. They will return!