My depressed days: get up cry in a hot shower (the steam hides the effects of crying so you get no bags under your eyes or red face, and the sound is muffled) grab an outfit (all my cloths are in 15 pre-made outfits, shirt, paints, underwear, socks and bra on the same hanger. So does my husband and son (W/O bra), Yeah for ocd tendencies), avoid SI throw my shoes on, throw food in for my son, take out dinner to defrost, make my way to the desktop instead of a lap top ( I can cry quietly there if need be as long as I use the bathroom fast for clean up), go to the bathroom to clean up if I cry, avoid SI and falling apart, If I do either clean up and apply make-up to hide it, cook dinner, and 'eat' dinner, assure husband I'm not purging or SI'ing unless I am then I just stare at him for a second and walk to the computer that I can quietly cry at or go to bed, take sleeping meds if I've had thoughts of suicide, planned suicide, or having thoughts that would concern others. Repeat as needed.

I'm thinking about getting my make-up tattooed so I don't have to worry about it.