Your grandmother and God know what's going on (or at least God does and will make sure your grandmother gets what information she "needs" :-) so relax about your grandmother and what your mother has to say on the subject; she's in no better shape than you are so be "kind" to her if you can, thank her for any info she gives you and try to take some worry from her by listening to what she has to say, etc.

You weren't "selfish" taking care of yourself and checking into the hospital, you did exactly what you should have, taking care of yourself -- no one can truly take care of another and is only charged with taking care of themselves and sounds like you're doing a great job.

Sorry you have a tax-related job. You're doing the best you can aren't you? That's all that is asked of you. Sounds like you're doing fine walking by Faith! Like my T use to say, sometimes all you can do is to "just keep putting one foot in front of the other."