I have been dating a man for over a year now. We were engaged, rented a house together and planned to have a future. My 4 girls all enjoyed him being in our lives until a few months ago. My oldest (16) noticed he was talking "down" to me and he and I were fighting a lot. She questioned me, asking how I would put up with his verbal abuse if I couldn't deal with it from their father (whom I was married to for almost 15 years, we have been divorced almost 3 years.).

I have had 3 long-term relationships since the separation/divorce. Her father remarried 9 months after the divorce was final.

She never wanted me to date after my divorce. She has accepted my relationships very distantly, but this last one she liked right away. Now she hates him. There has been an overwhelming animosity between them for months. He realizes now he was very hard on her, but she is being very hard on me and I just don't know what to do... Because of the stress between the two of them, we called off the engagement, he moved out, but we are still very much in love and still want to have a future together. He is seeing his doctor in regards to possible BPD/NPD treatment. She has him on Zoloft to stabilize the moods. He is also going to AA, and I am going to Alanon.

I am thinking I need to get her into therapy... She is a good kid but has this attitude that I am wrong in every "relationship" decision I make. She doesn't think he deserves a chance to prove he is not the jerk he became recently.

Any solid advice on how to proceed with her is appreciated.

Thanks!