Since my social anxiety disorder (among other things) is such a huge problem for me a "deal" has been made with the professors/lecturers/teachers at my university when it comes to speaking in front of my class. I'm supposed to not give any presentations in front of the class right now but instead give presentations in front of the teacher and then eventually and gradually work my way into being able to present for the whole class. Are you with me so far?

Right now I'm taking a class in biochemistry and during this class there are two mandatory seminars I'll have to attend. One on Thursday this week and one on Monday next week. My professor in this class told me that I'll do the presentations in front of him and not in front of the others but that I'll need to attend the seminars, discuss the assignments with the people in my group and then listen to the others presenting.

Anyway, my professor said he could tell the people in my group that I won't be giving presentations in front of the whole class so that my group won't think I'm lying or trying to get out of it or something. I agreed. However, I know people will ask me why I'm not participating. Some of them asked me similar questions when they noticed I get to take exams in a separate room (where it's quiet etc). I avoided answering their questions but this time I feel like that won't work. I need to come up with a good answer and I really don't know what to tell them. The fact that everyone will notice that I'm at the seminars but not giving presentations scare me. They will notice that something's "off".

What if they think I'm really weird and they start talking about me? That's not even the toughest thing though. The hardest part is being forced to reveal such personal things about myself. I mean, I know I don't have to tell people about my diagnoses but they'll know something's wrong. I don't want them to know. Not because I'm ashamed (because I don't think I am) but because it's so freaking personal. That's information which belongs to me. Information I only share with people I can really trust (and a lot of the time I don't even tell people I trust about these things).

What would you do in this kind of situation? Have you got any suggestions on what I can say when people ask me why the heck I'm not giving the presentations with them in front of the class? I keep imagining that people will ask me questions and making me really uncomfortable. I also keep imagining that they'll look at me. I hate it when people look at me. At this point I'm not even sure how to handle the fact that I need to participate in the group discussion (before the presentations).