Oh s**t. I dunno why but the memory of saying to T that her "mockingn smile" (if that indeed was what it was) Pissed me of, keeps going over and over in my mind. I think I can't understand why she says its ok to have said that to her. I mean shouldn't she have made a point of saying "that though her apparent mocking smile irritated me, saying she pissed me off isn't really a healthy response"...why did she allow me to say it? I only mentioned in T last week how my adoptive mother always used "you" statements and not "I" statements, ie, "you made me feel this way" Or "you done that to me"..I feel badddddddddd now, but maybe T wanted me to come to this realisation myself? but still, she might have said that she wasn't happy with my statement? but then again maybe she is ok with it?...but still...I need to talk about this tomorrow with her...I mean aren't I learning to only accept acceptable behaviour now in my life? if someone said to me that I pissed them off, would it be ok to feel ok with that? well I guess I am ok with it, but I dont want to be like that myself? perhaps my reaction to this incident right now is how its supposed to go? maybe if T had said she didnt find it acceptable..I wouldnt have come to this conclusion? instead I would have been thinking about her reaction to it..instead of mine? MMmmmmm maybe I've just worked this out by myself? LOL
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