Even when I'm doing pretty well (which, overall I have been), I still think about it ALL the time. I'll leisurely think about it in my spare time..... think about where I'd do it, what I'd use, how I'd cover it up, etc. And it's not even necessarily restricted to SI. I think about how I might permanently hurt myself.... like it's as big a decision as having chicken or fish for dinner? How crazy is that??!