Hi,
I've been in trauma therapy, and as things get more intense, even ideas like self-care are starting to confuse me. That was one of the first things we worked on, as well as safety etc. Well, these past weeks have gotten worse and the flashbacks are happening more often and are more easily triggered. In the past few days, I've been disassociating for longer amounts of time. Now, it's gotten to the point where it's taking a lot of work to write this and I feel less and less real. I'm trying to 'put my feet on the ground' so to speak, and in some ways I think I just want to know... is this going to get any better?
My therapist is always asking what I would do if I was taking care of my childhood self. Sometimes eat something. Sometimes take a nap and so on. I'm wondering, how do I know if I'm taking care of myself/younger self versus isolating or avoiding? For example, when does a nap turn into avoiding? Or if I feel overwhelmed by a project, when am I letting someone help me with the project and when am I just avoiding a responsibility? I know I won't get answers tonight, but I needed to write it. I don't know when I'm ignoring and when I'm allowing for self-care. Thank you for listening.