Last Friday 2 men were run over by a bus. The witness descriptions were horrific.
I was immediately triggered by the trauma (PTSD) and kept trying to find out more about the details. I found myself having to talk about it, over and over.
Told T yesterday, she said 'yes we've spoken about you're draw to trauma because of your past traumas.'
I than started talking about how I find relationships hard. People who I feel have their own baggage trigger mine and I than feel like my arms are where my legs should be, and my legs where my arms should be. I feel all wrong.
T spoke about how that's how I felt as a baby when I was handed over to my new mother.

I went home and still had the urge to find a graphic picture of someone who had been run over.
I found it, I went dizzy at first. Guts on the road, but than I felt better.
I emailed T saying 'that's how I felt when I was given away. My guts every where and my new mother just left me lying there (I know this from fathers relatives)
T said yes, that graphic image is a concrete image of how fragmented you felt/feel inside. You felt better because it acts as a container. Your mother should have picked you up and contained those feelings.