I haven't checked in in some time, but I'd like to say I'm doing much better. My pdoc did say that what I was experiencing starting Oct 21 was a mixed episode, so she upped my lamictal. I'm on 100mg now and doing much better. The episode stopped quickly and I haven't had another episode of any type since - I did have a really weird and uncharacteristic reaction to caffeine last night, though.

I don't drink caffeine normally, but I will occasionally go to the burger king on campus and get some coffee so I can finish working on something - typically falling asleep at 2am. However, when I had coffee last night, my heart started pounding and I felt like I had to gasp for breath and I started sweating a ton and shaking. On top of that, I was so nauseous it was ridiculous. I've had panic attacks before and it didn't feel like that. I didn't start to get worried until my thoughts started racing so bad I couldn't think and the weird feelings lasted for hours. Eventually I was able to sit still but I stayed up until five in the morning and woke up at 8 feeling totally refreshed and, in fact, still hyper and nauseous. It's midnight and I still don't feel tired. Haven't had any energy anything today.

One of my friends that I've told about my bipolar thinks that coffee may have spontaneously triggered an upswing. But I just feel optimistic. Still a bit stressed, especially with finals coming up, but optimistic things will be okay. I'm not excessively happy or anything like that. I don't know. I probably just feel good, but that coffee thing sure is weird.