Good question! It's like a catch-22 sometimes with therapy isn't it? On the one hand you are expected to 'do the work' but on the other hand, no-one tells you what that work actually is

Yeah it's tangible with something like CBT isn't it? At least you're TOLD what you need to do, even if it's not easy. But in general psychotherapy, it's all so vague and insubstantial.

I have recently however come up with a bit of an idea for myself, that probably involves the idea of doing the work, and that might resonate for you. For ages I've just gone along to therapy and talked and talked and talked, and gotten nowhere. Recently I realized that actually, what I need to do is talk about specifically uncomfortable difficult painful unpleasant things, stuff that brings up the feelings in me that I spend my life controlling. It was like a lightbulb moment, though once I recognized it, I realized it's what gets talked about on here quite a lot

For me, that is work, it's something I can choose to do (or rather, make myself do!) instead of my usual talking about things in my typical detached disconnected way, I tended to always choose topics that though negative and painful, allowed me to intellectualize and discuss them, rather than feel them.

I also feel like that's what my T is willing to help and support me with so it's a together kind of thing (nothing worse than client doing lots of 'work' that T neither validates nor acknowledges as being what the therapy is there to help with...)

Have you asked your T about this? There was a thread recently about 'what are you working on in therapy' and back then I thought, nothing, because my T doesn't seem to be directing or guiding me to work on anything, but in fact, now I know he is there for me emotionally and can take my feelings, I'm able to 'do the work', or at least think about doing it

Ugh sorry for long reply. Hugs to you (((((((((( Freewilled )))))))))