Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightlight
I think the work depends on what we need to change. For me, it's a combination of being open in the therapy relationship. That is something which helps me to develop a new concept of myself, based on what my therapist is able to reflect back to me. It helps me to develop a new understanding of the ways that I struggle and perhaps a glimpse of how change might be possible. Then there are the practical steps in my every day life. I have to use the things I learn inside the therapy room to push myself into new situations, or new ways of doing things in real life. Whether I succeed or fail, I can go back and discuss it all with my therapist, so I can continue to find a way forwards. I think sometimes from the inside I've felt blind to any way forwards or the sort of work it requires. It was only after a few years that I could really look back and can see what I've needed to do and what I will have to continue doing if I want to keep moving forwards in my life.
|
I think a large part of the work, at least for me, is stepping way outside of my comfort zone in most areas that were out of my comfort zone - taking risks in my behaviour and even thoughts.
ETA: Also a part of therapy is knowing that you aren't going to do this overnight. I know I failed A LOT, and still do. It's easy to slip back into comfortable things. It's okay. It's all okay. I think that's what they call the "process". Fall down 7, get up 8 type thing. We didn't get here in one day. We aren't going to leave here in one day either.
I think there is a kind of learning and relearning that occurs when we do that, that ultimately leads to a better life.
Another part of the work is being willing to entertain ideas, thoughts, perspectives that are way outside of what you think you know. Whether this is all or nothing thinking, or some other cognitive distortion, ideas and insights counter to those defensive tactics should be at least entertained.
It's hard to step into a new life, or at least a new way of thinking about life, and doing so takes a tremendous amount of courage, but, for me, acting on that inner courage was my work.