Right, haven't been on here for a while. I am learning more about my depression as time goes on, and one thing I have noticed is that it keeps sucking all the energy out of me. I have zero motivation for anything (including work). This will be my big fight.

Positives: I've had really good reactions from the people I have told about my depression. My line manager is very understanding, as are my friends. I am not ready to tell my family yet (they are abroad and will worry themselves mad). Another positive is that on Sunday evening, for the first time in months, I was feeling a little bit better, as if the very dark clouds had made way for some lighter clouds, at least temporarily. It might be that the prozac is beginning to take effect.

On the negative side, my sleep has been disrupted to an extent where I'm not able to function properly. I'll speak to my GP about it on Thursday. I am a talented insomniac anyway but this is ridiculous. Also I keep losing weight. I am already 4.5kg lighter than I was six weeks ago. I have lost all my appetite. This has to stop because a) I am losing the weight in all the wrong places and b) people will start noticing as I was relatively slim to start with. I am still a healthy weight though, BMI of 21.5.

Things on my to-do list for the next few days:

- find a therapist (scary)
- write on here about the things that get me down the most (lack of motivation and loneliness)
- write about recent events in my life which continue to dominate my thoughts in unhealthy, obsessive way. I'm hoping that writing things down will be the first step to detachment.