I know how you feel surviving three half-assed attempts on my life which seemed sadly almost funny looking back. My last involved overdosing on pills ending with no harmful effects whatsoever, so I guess there's some reason I'm still around. I currently take no medications besides the one I'm given in a clinical study and that could be a placebo. Some days I'm high on life and its infinite possibilities, wondering how my story will end and others I wake up wishing it was over with already and that my inner turmoil and stormy moods would end.