I am sick. Supposedly I have Schizoaffective disorder, but I know I dont. I am just a loser who cant keep it together.

I dont go out of my house at all. I have been stuck here for six years and counting. I choose to stay in here because I cant live in a world where everyone makes fun of me everywhere I go.

Im always so tired and exhausted. Im tired of being tired. I dont do anything at all, ever. Just get online, watch tv, sleep and eat.

My life is hell and there are very few things that make it better.

My family says they understand but they are not too supportive. They dont know how to help. I dont know how to help myself.

I take meds for the schizoaffective. I have done it for years. Still no help.

I dont want to die. I dont want this to be it. I want to change but dont know how to be who I want to be.

Im lost. Im sick. Im wrong. Im fading. Im gonna be gone soon at this pace. I cant take this anymore. But I have to. Theres nothing else I can do, but just take it.