My husband and I have been together for over 20 years, I was 20 and he was 19 when we married.
From the beginning he was a partier but in 1999 he stopped drinking, that is until 2005 when he began again.
From the beginning our relationship was very rocky and I am ashamed to admit he even has had affairs. Yet I stayed with him.
Last August he was in an accident on his bicycle, while drinking that cause him to rupture the ligament between his C1 and C2. He had to have surgery and therapy. Once he was released to work the day he went back he was laid off. Luckily he is back to work now. He has had a drinking problem for years but it is way worse now. He drinks most weekday evenings, a few at least but its the weekends that are hard. He starts drinking Friday night and until he passes out for a few hours then wakes up and starts it all over until his ultimate pass out Sunday evening. I am not a drinker at all.
He now has a female "friend" that he spends way to much time with because she will drink excessively with him. They also text and talk way to much.
We have decided we need to separate and divorce but not until after the holidays and we still live together. We have two children, a 19 year old college student and an 8 year old.
I don't want to sound arrogant here so please forgive me if I do. I am by no means a bad wife. I have always worked full time at a job I love, cook almost every night, the house is always clean and the bills paid. I am a very attentive mother and always put my children first. I am by no means a prude in the bedroom. So why am I questioning my behavior and seeing what I could have done better and not him? He is the one who has ignored his family, not me. All I do is sit and wonder what I could have done. Why I wasn't good enough.
I am just beside myself because all I want is my family to be together and am extremely afraid of what is going to happen once the ball starts rolling.
Thanks in advance for listening to my babble.