I hear him trying to shift blame for his problems on to you, and I agree with fayerody. This is a grown man, not a child.

When he is sick and tired of being sick and tired then he will take the necessary steps to change his life for the better. You cannot do that for him, and to attempt to make him change or try and "save" him from himself, is, in my opinion, dysfunctional and co-dependent. Please don't think me harsh, I have been there with two alcoholics in my former "Straight" life. You have yourself and your children to care for. Let him sort it out for himself. If you are a believer in prayer, which it sounds like you are, now is the time. "Every moment of the day it is the right time", as Steven Curtis Chapman says. Only he and God can change him, so let them get to work, and meanwhile seek fellowship for support and healing. Remember how precious your children are, God gave them to you and they DO need you. It may take awhile for him to hit his bottom, but as long as he can try and take the attention off himself he is not going to make progress in bettering his situation. Stay strong, God bless and PM anytime.

RF