Ok, i'll try to condense our whole story as quickly as possible.

Met my wife in early spring 2010. I had just gotten out of a broken relationship where I found out the girl was cheating on me with a married guy. I was heartbroken and frankly talking to a few girls on facebook, but wen't out on a date with my wife Ashley. We loved eachother right from the start. We were both church kids and she was saving herself, I wasn't. The girl who was cheating on me was my first. Awesome sex, a lot of adventurous stuff, I really liked it. I talked about it with my wife (girlfried) a lot but she wanted to wait. I liked her enough where I complied. I don't think I really wanted sex all that much, I kept that in check myself. I think I wanted to feel attractive and loved in that way again. Even when we broke up, my previous girlfriend still admitted that the sex was great. Lies or not I believed it.

So my wife and I were engaged 1 year after we started dating. I kept pushing for something to happen. There was a lot of intense making out on the couch but nothing big. I keep mentioning the sex because that has been a big point in our arguments since we were married. But i'll get to that in a minute.

In june I actually started talking to a girl on the side, and had a routine of picking her up occasionally and getting road head. It was wrong, i felt guilty, but I kept doing it and I shouldn't have. But something in me needed it. Me and the "mistress" would talk dirty on facebook and in texts too.

She moved back home and her parents found our facebook convos on the laptop. Printed out a bunch of copies and took it to my employer (who laughed about it more than anything) my parents (I was 22 so their opinion still mattered) and took a copy to my wife who is a school teacher, while she was at work. She was devestated.

Well, I basically thought my life was over. I spent several days drunk out of my mind on a friends couch, not able to deal with the reality that she wouldn't talk to me. But eventually we talked, and decided to proceed with the marriage a few months later.

Several months after we were married it would come up if we had arguments, and she kept a close eye on my text messages. All of which I deserved. But there was just one problem. There was sex, but getting BJs and stuff was off the table. We had talked about it before and she was down with it supposedly, and it had happened a few times but she just wasn't willing.

Now, the real question is, was it the BJ, or was it the feeling of someone doing something purely for my pleasure. Feeling loved and attractive, wanted. Like I was worth something to her sexually. I'm not sure, but whatever it was I wanted I wasn't getting it.

Nearly two years after we were married (and i'm almost done) things are still the same as of tonight. We get along pretty well but just the occasional sex. We had our first child, a boy named Owen on June 11th of this year. During the entire pregnancy, I got one BJ. Which was my only orgasm that wasn't self induced. Since we had our son, once we settled down and got back on a sleeping schedule the regular sex returned. But I made a mistake.

I'm self employed, and I do a lot of work on my computer for my clients. One night about a month ago i was working late, and had a few drinks earlier in the night. A lapse of judgement caused me to start flirting with a woman on facebook. She's single, and didn't really flirt back because she's considerably older, but I did it none the less. I paid her compliments and told her she was beautiful, hoping I suppose for some sort of flattering reply but even tho she said thank you she wouldn't play along. I realized how stupid I was being and deleted the conversation, I thought.

Fast forward to this weekend, i had bought my wife tickets to go see a concert in a city 4 hours away. It was on friday evening and I had to work early, but she wanted me to drive her and so I did. I had been up until 3:30 AM the night before working and I didn't get in the bed until 4:20 saturday morning. I know because I had to set an alarm to get up the next day. I didn't get to catch up on sleep until sunday evening. I was exhausted.

Last night, after working late, I came home worn completely out, and announced to her that I wanted her to start giving me backrubs and bj's. I've asked her for this on a regular basis since our engagement, getting more serious in the last few months. She cried and said she didn't know why I needed that and told me she never thought she'd be good enough for me. i told her that she was all I wanted, but I felt like after killing myself to keep her happy and get all my work done, that I deserved it. A few minutes later we went to bed, and she started rubbing my back. And I said "Honey, i'm not trying to be mean, but if you're doing this just because I told you to then it's meaningless" She gave a harsh sigh and rolled over.

Finally we arrive at tonight. I came home in between jobs to ask her if she was over being mad at me, and she said I don't think I'll ever be over this. That pissed me off. I had tried to be very civil the night before. She said again that she didn't understand what she could do different. I said "If you don't understand whenever i give you very specific instruction as to what I want from you, then you're problem isn't being inadequate, you must have a learning disability or something." and I left and wen't to my next job at a photographer friend's house. She tried calling but I was upset and turned my phone off. 30 minutes later she shows up at the photographers house, tells me that I need to come home NOW. We walk outside, and she asks me "Why don't you tell me about so-and-so". evidently, she had logged into my facebook and those messages to the woman were only archived, not deleted.

So i don't know what to say, and i follow her to the house where her mom is. She has packed a bag, and proceeds to take my son and our dog to her parents house. So here I sit, at home, trying to figure out what to do. She hasn't tried to call or text, and I thought she would have by now. She has to be at work by 7:30 in the morning and it's 9:41 as i'm typing this, but knowing her IDK if she can sleep or not.

Part of me wants to text her and apologize and say whatever I need to say for her to come home. You know, give in like I always do. But I explained last night that I need to feel like she loves me, not like her employee whos only job is to make money and sex is my monthly bonus.

One other thing, when I got here her mom was telling me "You don't need to be rude or hateful toward her, she's having a hard time at work and you need to try to help her, not be hateful" so idk what she's told her. I suppose that's her mom tho so no matter what If she doesn't want to be here they'll take her in.

Thoughts on how to get the rest of my work done and go to sleep? or should I give in and call her and try to get her to come home? I'm at a loss, and full of anxiety, heart racing. My impulse is to drink but I'll just pass out and I feel like I need my wits about me or at least I should get some work done.