I totally hate this answer--I have a similar issue with my T that persists--but I think you probably can't "get over it" until you feel yourself to be lovable and "enough" on your own. That's a feeling, I think, that usually comes from experiencing a parent's unconditional love. When we don't experience it when we're kids we're always, always looking for it elsewhere. (OK...at least that's how it's been for me.)

The problem is that the time for that has passed and no one else can give that to us now...we have to learn to do it for ourselves. That's the part I hate. It seems unfair and impossible. But that's just how it is, I think.