On self disclosure, Alexandra, I think you got what the difference is when you said that you want the kind that is your T's responses and reactions to you, but you don't want to know a lot about him. One kind of self disclosure is how the therapist feels and reacts in response to you, and that is an essential part of therapy, IMO. That is different from shifting the focus and the therapist telling you all about their own life. The focus should stay on the client and on helping the client. I tend to like self-disclosure, and have learned a general rule of thumb for determining when it is appropriate. Appropriate self-disclosure is for the client, to help them in a specific way. If it is for the therapist's benefit, then it's not appropriate.