Regret does nothing at all positive. Others are still there for you even if you don't feel that way right now. I know I'm glad you share what you do, it helps me and surely I speak for many of us ~ you sound a lot like me at times. And getting it out helps you some also. I always found it hard to be single; there's no explaining the feeling really. Right now I have the opposite 'problem' in that I feel like I WANT to be alone because my BPD symptoms wouldn't be so extensive (but I guess I know better We are here when you need us and always glad to listen and help if we can. You won't scare us, but we may scare you.