Being an Avoidant is not a death sentence. At least it does not have to be. Im assuming based on what you said of not having any friends that you are not in a relationship.

Having friends is hard. Being in a relationship is even harder. But social skills are something that we must learn. And in order to learn social skills, you have to be around people.

You know, for me, I cant even remember my 20's. I joined the military when I was around 24 or so. I try hard to forget my experiences in the military.

Professionals seems to enjoy wanting Avoidants to relive their past over and over and over. While there is benefit to learning from our mistakes and recognizing pasterns of rejection and anxiety, at some point, it has to be let go.

In order to find healing, these hurts from our past need to be healed once and for all. It seems that most every Avoidant that I have talked to has a similar story to tell. Some event in their past either caused the Avoidant issues or magnified them hugely.

We have to find healing from these hurts, or at least learn to not let them bother us and dictate our future. Avoidant hurts run very very deep.

I know how hard it is to want to meet people and talk to people. I am an Avoidant too. But ya know, its what has to happen if we are to find any level of healing.

In one of my favorite movies, Bob was told by his doc to take Baby Steps. If you dont have friends, and even get physically ill (also seems to be common to Avoidants) its just plain dumb
to just go to a bar or some other place where there are hundreds of people and expect to make a friend.

Einstein said that to keep doing the same things over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity. And we sure dont need another bad label heaped on us.

So take things slow. Life to an Avoidant goes in slow motion. Fixes that can take a few days or months is a normal persons life might take years in an Avoidant life.

Maybe start with just saying Hi to someone you dont know. Then if it seems to click, maybe try calling that person next. Or email or something like that. Then eventually work up to asking that person to coffee.

I love the show 'The Big Bang Theory". This is a show about nerds for nerds. They seems to have social issues. Especially Sheldon. I see a lot of myself in him.

I love his Friendship Algorithm. Its pretty well done. Point it. Try Baby Steps. Dont expect miracles overnight. Dealing with being an Avoidant takes time and patience.

Try to find someone to talk to that you can trust. Writing is huge, like you are doing. I started a blog some 3 years ago. It has helped a lot.