Came back to my first day of teaching class to find a summary of student evaluations from last semester in my inbox.

My first semester teaching I received "Excellents" on all 14 criteria. This past semester I got 10 "Excellents" and four "Goods", but wound up with an overall Good -- not Excellent rating.

Last semester I had 25 students in my class, and the classroom was not large enough to lend itself to group discussion and projects. I still did some, but not as many as I would have liked ideally. To summarize, things that are out of my control, are bringing down my overall rating.

An overall rating of B is not really bad, but it triggered danger bells in the back of my mind, because of my experience at my employer of 17 years, which happened five years ago around this time of year.

In that case which was different, they made up a bunch of lies and documented them in writing before kicking me out, not even referencing the lies, and telling me my job had been eliminated. I was one of ultimately 14,000 people nationwide, who lost their jobs. Most of us who were targeted for the lay-off were "coincidentally" over 50.

Maybe I'm suffering burnout, because of the crazy pay schedule at the school. I won't receive my first paycheck until after I have taught for two whole months, which means March 20th.

The stupid evaluations made me feel like I was kicked in the stomach, and part of me just wants to throw in the towel.

I'm not going to do anything rash, but wanted to reach out for some support if anyone understand what I'm saying/feeling.

EJ