Quote:
Originally Posted by taylorball
And another thing. Doing my best not to sound like a verbal abuser.
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I think it's important to be honest if you're serious about fixing your marriage.
Some of the language you use is disturbing to me.
for example -
you
give specific instructions about what you want
and
announced that you'd like to recieve bj's and backrubs
do you see how that sounds? can you imagine what that makes your wife feel like?
You cheated on her once, and then tried to again. If you "thought your life was over" the first time you got caught cheating, why would you send inapproriate messeges to another woman after your wife took you back?
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylorball
Is there nothing to be said about my unhappiness? Should me, my wife, and the therapist be talking about why i got pissed off in the first place?
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originally, you were unhappy because your wife wasn't exciting enough sexually, right? that's why you needed all that "road head"?
now you're still unhappy because your wife found out and is struggling to be intimate with you, and trust you (as would most women!!). You need to try to repair the dammage you did to your wife. an affair isn't over and in the past just because you stop screwing around. I'm sure she thinks about your betrayal every single day. How can you expect sunshine and rainbows especially since you tried to cheat again? why in the world should she trust you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by taylorball
Or do I need to come to terms with the fact that I have unrealistic demeaning expectations and deal with whatever "disappointment" i may have and just be happy that i'm still married to a beautiful woman and the mother of my child without ever addressing the fact that i feel unappreciated? Idk if i'm using the right vocabulary but i'm hoping you can figure out what i'm trying to say without thinking i'm an ***.
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yes. absolutely, yes. You DO have unrealistic demeaning expectations right now. Honestly, are you the man she thought she was marrying? What about her expectations? Talk to the counselor with your wife and try to find out what she needs to move past this. I understand you feel unappreciated, but your wife IS unappreciated.